After a perfectly peaceful and productive morning the housekeeping was in good order and the children were behaving beautifully, Mrs Pickwick decided to just lie down for a few minutes with Baby P for his third attempted nap, as the first two were interrupted by all the, er, quietude. It was almost time for lunch, and she didn’t exactly have any food actually prepared, but she wasn’t even really going to close her eyes, honestly, and she certainly wasn’t going to fall asleep…

It is always so startling when the phone jolts one out of fully conscious wakefulness, isn’t it? In this case, Mrs Pickwick was surprised to see that Fr P would be home in a few minutes, with some guests. Just a couple of mildly hungry pilgrims passing through and happy to spend a quiet lunch and tea with a pious family nearby. Oh Dear.

Mrs P flew out of the bed as stealthily as possible which certainly did not wake up a grumpy baby in the least and flew to the living room where I assure you she did not find any naked children doing ballet and most certainly did not grab the nearest seven laundry baskets to quickly collect and conceal the floor clutter (sometimes referred to as  Every Single Item Owned by Pickwicks) and perhaps one or two of the children. Mrs P is known for keeping up with the kitchen tidying at all times, so there were no pots or pans to stash hastily into the oven, and the counters were sparkling as always. There were a few tastefully arranged bowls of fresh fruit that were not missing any bites at all, and fruit flies were not a problem in the least.

With barely a minute to spare, Mrs P began casually cutting up vegetables for the children (as the ballerinas were an hour past their usual lunchtime, she thought it was a fortuitous moment to use up the peppers and carrots they had been rejecting all week and this had nothing whatever to do with the fact that the bread was gone and the refrigerator nearly empty), and prepared to greet her guests with a smile.

Fr Pickwick arrived with the pilgrims in tow, a little confused because he did not remember what the carpet looked like and thought for a moment he was in the wrong house. Also, the Blessings were clothed and in their right minds and quietly nibbling on vegetables (children weak with hunger can occasionally be mistaken for well-behaved). All in all, a pretty lovely picture. Mrs P served the children an adorable and healthy lunch plate, Montessori style, with their child-sized glasses and pitcher of orange juice. Maybe patting herself a little on the back for just how picturesque her little family could be. The Pickwicks don’t always have to frighten visitors with shuttlecocks and bicycle jousting.

Yes, yes, my dear visitors, we will indeed see you in church this evening. That is what monastery people do, you know. Oh, do be careful pouring your orange juice for your sister, dear Sweet. They really do help each other so tenderly like this everyday of their lives, my dear pious visitors, and they are this charming, it is not a sham. You did just hear Sweet say she would be so happy to make a prostration tonight—

Feisty, at full volume: “Make sure you put plenty of RUM in mine!!!”